This post has some really funny horse jokes for kids that will have you laughing out loud.
Here are over 53 hilarious horse jokes for kids that you can share with friends and family. These jokes are safe for kids of all ages. Whether you take riding horses seriously or not one thing’s for sure – everyone loves a good horse joke! So saddle up and get ready to gallop into a world of laughter with these hilarious horse jokes perfect for kids:
Q. Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A. He thought he might get a kick out of it!
Q. What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A. One goes quick and the other goes quack!
Q: Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
A: Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.
Q. What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A. Sherbet.
Q. Where do horses go when they’re sick?
A. The horsepital.
Q. What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A. Thoroughbred.
Q. What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
A. zebra.
Q. What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late?
A. A night mare.
Q. Why do cowboys like to ride horses?
A. Because they’re too heavy to carry.
Q: How long should a horse’s legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground
Q: What do you call a story about a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!
Q. What did the mother horse say to her foal?
A. It’s pasture bed time!
Q. Why do most horses look so fit?
A. Because they’re on a stable diet.
Q: What street do horses live on?
A: Mane St.
Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?
A: “Why the long face?”
Funny Horse Jokes for kids!
Q: How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?
A: Start with a large fortune.
Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible?
A: The horse’s name was Friday.
Q. Why is Mayo the best name for a horse?
A. Because when he talks, you can say “Mayo neighs!”
Q. How much money does a bronco have?
A. A buck.
Q. What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A .A neigh-bour.
Q:How do you lead a horse to water?
A:With lots of carrots.
Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!
Q: Why can’t horses dance?
A: Because they have 2 left feet.
Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck.
Q: What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
A: Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Q: How long should a horse’s legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground.
Crazy Horse Jokes
Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA
Q: What animal has more “hands” than feet?
A: Why, a horse, of course!
Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
Q: What do you call pony with a sore throat?
A: A little hoarse.
Q: What part of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!!!
Q: Have you read the book, “100-mile Horse Trek”
Q: Who wrote it?
A: Major Bumsore
Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup.
Jokes for Horse Lovers
Q: What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis
Q: Why did the horse go behind the tree?
A: To change his jockeys.
Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: How’s your hay fever?
Q: What do you call it when you pass a tail, ears, mane and legs?
A: A horse.
Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Q: What did the bartender say to the horse?
A: Why such a long face?
Laugh Out Loud Kids Horse Jokes
Q: Why did the horse take a slice of hay to bed?
A: To feed his nightmares!!!
Q: How do you hire a horse?
A: Put a brick under each hoof!
Q: What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?
A: A horse, of course!
Q: What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
A: All breeds. Houses don’t jump
Q: A man rode into town on June 3rd, stayed a week, and rode out on June 3rd.
How is this possible?
A: His horse’s name was June 3rd.
Q: How do you know when a pony is sick?
A: ITS A LITTLE HOARSE.
Q: Which side of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic
Longer Horse Jokes for Kids
“Some horses are so polite that when they come to a jump, they stop and let you go over first.”
There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse’s ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.
I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horsesback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!
Funny horse Joke!
An out-of-towner accidently drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper. Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Benny didn’t move. Next he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.” Still, Benny didn’t move.
Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.” Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Okay, Benny, pull.” Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.”
Race Horse Joke
Three race horses stood in their stalls. One said to other others: “I ran 20 races and I won 15 of them!” he bragged. The next said with a snort, “Well, I ran 30 races and won 25 of them!” Then the third horse spoke up proudly, “Yeah, I ran 41 races and won 39 of them!” This seemed to settle the topic when the horses noticed a Greyhound outside their stalls. The Greyhound said, “I ran 100 races and I won 99 of them.” The horses looked at each other in amazement and one gasped, “Wow!
A talking greyhound!”
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Horse Jokes for Kids Conclusion
These jokes are sure to tickle the funny bones of horse lovers of all ages. Whether you’re telling them at the barn, during a pony party, or just horsing around with friends, these jokes will have everyone laughing until their sides ache. So go ahead, spread some joy and laughter with these hilarious horse jokes!
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Looking for some more fun horse jokes?
Horse Jokes & Fun Facts. Packed with silly horse jokes for kids, it’s a hilarious party-starter or quiet time entertainer, perfect to read alone or aloud with friends and family. It’s also a great book to toss into a backpack and share on the go for a quick dose of horse comedy.
I hope you had fun reading this post! Do you have any good kids horse jokes, I would love to hear them leave them in the comments below!
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Check out this post and make some fun horse crafts with the kids!
